My dad was a wonderful father and grandfather, but not a wonderful husband. When he got sick, I struggled with helping to care for him while watching him be unkind and ungrateful to my mom. Old resentments and years of sacrifice turned my loving mom bitter and angry. They had a picture perfect 54 year marriage and these challenges were bringing out the worst in both of them. My mom was leaning on me in ways that were not necessarily healthy and told me things she'd never shared. I worked hard to treat my dad with the love he'd always shown me and set boundaries on how he could treat my mom, at least in my presence. I reminded myself how vulnerable and scared he was and his actions were his inability to manage those emotions. I let my mom say anything she needed to because she needed it to be OK to be hurt and angry. I didn't let anyone, even my dad, change how I've felt about him for all 50 years of my life. These last moments were not going to be his legacy. I really believe his illness was affecting his brain. He just wasn't the same man so holding him accountable was not necessary. I kept the peace in the family so his passing would not break the rest of us apart.