I live in a very red rural conservative county. While many of the inhabitants are accepting of my new role as a mother of a POC (Person of Color) child, many loud voices say or do insensitive or hurtful things. Things no little kid should have to hear or be exposed to. Worse yet are those who don't know or admit their racism but still allow it to guide their actions and words. Not only is it very isolating it leaves me feeling on edge and constantly on guard in public and even at home if we step out the door. Sometimes I worry someone might hurt my child when she wants to play outside or she might see something or hear something on TV or radio. I know I cannot protect her forever but the feeling persists. I struggled to learn how to care for her unique mixed hair and later to afford that care all without help of her father or his family. I strive to raise her with age appropriate knowledge about her heritage without excusing of sugar coating the sins of the past, of white people.