I’ve never led a double life or pretended to be someone I’m not — but for many years, I also didn’t speak openly about my sexuality at work. It wasn’t a conscious choice to hide so much as a quiet calibration of comfort: Was this a place where I could be vulnerable? Did I feel safe enough to be fully myself? In the performing arts world, being out was more normalized, almost expected. But in more traditional or corporate settings, I found myself making a series of micro-decisions — a mention of a boyfriend here, a reference to my husband there — slowly allowing more of myself into the room. I’m lucky in many ways: I live in a progressive part of the country with legal protections and a generally inclusive work culture. For me, coming out at work wasn’t about fearing repercussions. It was about growing into my own sense of authenticity and letting go of the long-held instinct to self-edit — an instinct shaped by childhood messages that told me I was “too much” or too expressive. That fear of being “found out” lingered in the background, not as a threat but as a habit — one that’s hard to shake, especially in professional settings where scrutiny and performance go hand in hand. There were no dramatic coming-out moments for me — just a steady unfolding. Supportive colleagues helped. So did jobs where I felt psychologically safe, where I didn’t have to compartmentalize to survive. Still, there were times I felt like an outsider, particularly in male-dominated or heteronormative spaces. The difference wasn’t always spoken, but it was felt — in conversations I couldn’t quite join, or camaraderie I wasn’t sure how to access. These days, being out at work feels less like a decision and more like a given. I don’t feel a line between being “in” or “out” — I just am. For anyone else weighing whether, how, or when to come out at work, I don’t have a script. But I do know most imagined fears are harsher than the reality, and that living more fully into yourself — even in quiet, gradual ways — can offer a huge lift to your sense of well-being. If you’re looking to talk it through, I’d be honored to help you find a path that feels natural, grounded, and fully yours.