When I was 26, one of my best friends committed suicide on New Year's Eve. He was the central figure in my friend group and generally someone everyone knew and enjoyed, who brought people together and made things happen. He was also problematic, a drunk and drug addict, and had anger issues. He and another friend fought over a girl, and he pulled a gun, drove off drunk, and got arrested. He was shunned from the group for a short time, but on New Year's Eve, the other friend was ready to forgive and told us to invite Scott to his house for the first time since the incident. One guy forgot to do it, and I was meant to remind him, but didn't He didn't come to the party and instead committed suicide. Both my friend and I suffered from guilt for many years until we were finally about to let it go. One guy in the group never got over it, struggled with heroin, and died of an overdose in a recovery house 5 years later. All the feelings came back up, and had to be dealt with again.