Pornography addiction within monogamous relationships is very real, and not talked about enough because of stigma. Partners of PAs often hesitate to seek help because we are often told, "it's not really cheating", "it's just fantasy", etc. When our partners keep a secret sexual basement, the entire relationship and household is affected. The constant lies, the never-ending comparisons, the lack of physical intimacy and touch- all contribute to destruction of relationships, and self-esteem. I spent years in this dynamic and ended up with mental and physical health issues as a result. I had nobody to confide in. If this is you, first off, please know you aren't wrong for feeling betrayed by a partner lying to you about their porn use. I invite you to consider reaching out for support. I can't promise to fix a relationship, but at the very least, I will make you feel validated and I can tell you what I did to come out on the other side of betrayal trauma.