From 2021 to 2024, I was in an on and off pseudo-intimate situationship with my ex, who lived with borderline personality disorder. While he and I both had a strong emphasis on spirituality and self development, we weren't able to collaborate in a relationship together. I spent years reading books and researching alternative modalities, trying to understand his reality, validate his experience, and cater to his needs. I worked on myself almost expressly to make the relationship work, but ultimately he was not ready or emotionally available for a deep romantic connection. Accepting this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but in time, I was able to let him go without blaming myself or him. If you struggle with trying to fix a person with complex childhood trauma or a personality disorder, I've been there. Sometimes it's just about planting the seed and opening a door for your future selves, even if it doesn't result in the outcome you imagined.