Having insomnia that means I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep

Celeste G.

I have struggled with insomnia for about 4 years. I would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep again often for 3 or 4 hours or sometimes just not at all. This would leave me feeling extremely grumpy the next day, sometimes exhausted to the point of having trouble driving, and affected my performance in my job and my ability to connect with my kids. I have found a variety of different practices that have been helpful for me to keep me from waking up on the middle of the night, or if I do wake up to get back to sleep within a short period of time. They aren’t foolproof, I still have nights occasionally that leave me exhausted, but they are far fewer and I have learned to cope with the tiredness better even on those days that are the worst.

Living with mental and/or physical health challenges at a "young" age

Ambika M.

Everyone said certain health challenges that started in graduate school would go away once I left the stressful environment. But they were here to stay. While peers spend their vacation leave and money on trips, I spend my sick leave and funds on doctor's appointments and interventions - all while managing conditions and treatments discreetly for co-occurring conditions. If you struggle with sleep, pain, anxiety, or GI issues - as well as as "gymtimidation," or having to choose sneakers over cute heels - I'm here for you.

How anger manifests in your behavior

Sandy P.

But first, let me explain how it manifests for me. There's the obvious: I see or hear what I don't like and there's an immediate surge of energy from the gut. I feel like cursing, or striking out, or if in public, I want to ignore or hide from it. I struggle with competing desires: lose control or pretend it didn't happen. When I was a child, when my anger was prohibited, I would burst into tears and get ridiculed for it. And guess what!! It can happen to me today, many years later. I freeze up. There's a voice that says girl anger is not OK. Be NICE! says that insidious voice back in my mind. Sometimes, anger doesn't reveal itself through overt actions or impulses. For me, it can simmer beneath the surface and erupt at inappropriate times. Maybe it comes out as sneaky, passive resistance, or a biting comment or an icy silence. My internal struggle can be exhausting. Sometimes when it gets the best of me, I end up looking foolish. Then other times the anger morphs into something entirely different like anxiety or sadness or fear. It becomes a tangled web of emotions that are hard to identify and address. I find myself too sleepy, or agitated, roaming the house, raiding the refrigerator. While here at Fello we're not in the business of psychoanalyzing behavior, developing awareness of our inner workings is a good option for taking control of strong emotions that often work to our detriment. For me, they cause insomnia and overeating. Recognizing these patterns and trigger points within myself was my first step toward understanding and managing my anger. Understanding is crucial for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships. By understanding myself a little bit better, I can better navigate these feelings and respond in ways that are constructive rather than destructive. It's such a relief to start having mastery over what can seem like a big, out of control monster!

Insomnia as a neurodivergent individual

Solangel J.

There were nights where I just couldn’t sleep—and not because I wasn’t tired. I was exhausted. But my brain wouldn’t shut off, my body felt wired, and everything I tried—breathing exercises, screen limits, sleepy teas—just didn’t cut it. For me, insomnia isn’t just about stress or bad habits. It’s tied to both my neurodivergence and PMDD. There’s a specific kind of sleeplessness that comes when your hormones are swinging wildly and your sensory sensitivity is through the roof. Add in ADHD brain, autistic burnout, or emotional dysregulation—and yeah, no wonder I couldn’t sleep. The worst part? Knowing I needed rest to function the next day, but feeling powerless to make it happen. I’d beat myself up, spiral into anxiety, and feel like I was failing at something that’s supposed to be automatic. What changed things wasn’t a magic solution—it was giving myself compassion and building a more flexible relationship with sleep. I started tracking patterns in my cycle, learning what my body needed at different times of the month, and creating routines that supported my nervous system, not fought against it. Some nights are still rough. But now I know how to care for myself when it happens—and I no longer treat it like a personal flaw. If you’re navigating insomnia tied to PMDD, neurodivergence, or both, I get it. It’s frustrating and lonely, but you’re not broken—and you don’t have to go through it alone.