Living with a husband who has chronic illness for a season

Celeste G.

My husband was chronically ill off and on for a couple of years, during which time he wasn’t really able to work or do much to help support our family of 6 at the time. This put a lot of strain on me because I was trying to juggle homeschooling our kids, working part time, and taking care of our home mostly by myself. I felt so alone during that time even though I had 5 other people around me everyday. I was stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed. My husband unfortunately became depressed during this time because he wanted to be there for us more, but when he would try it would just end up making his symptoms worse and sending him back to bed for the day. He was seeking answers from doctors, who suggested all kinds of things including allergy shots, diet changes, exercise routines, medications, etc but nothing was really helping. I had to deal with my own somewhat irrational anger at my husband because while I knew he was doing everything he could to get better, I was left with so much responsibility. I even had a hard time accepting that he was really sick at times because the symptoms weren’t always easy to see on the surface, and unfortunately my father had little understanding and would tell him to do things like “just go for a run”. Thankfully, I was able to find some ways to take things off my plate like sending my kids to public school, and my husband slowly found his way back to health through emotional work as well as physical solutions.

Being the caretaker of a partner who has substance use disorder

Amy G.

I had gotten myself into a relationship with a person who was sober, on house, arrest, and was going through the cycle of wanting to be better. And one snowy night I had found them passed out unknown what happened until they took my partner to the hospital, and I had found the bottle of vodka hiding from that relationship. I was the soul caretaker of someone who is suffering from. SUD. The relationship lasted 2 1/2 years and it was very codependent from me making sure that they were OK and for them having me as the caretaker there was abuse in the relationship from someone who did not want to get help I was able to leave that relationship completely heartbroken and tornand took time to grieve my own expectations from this person. I removed myself from my environment and started my healing journey while they got into another relationship while we were still together technically, I found myself now better because I was able to have the support from my friends to leave.

Overcoming work and family burnout and finding balance

Blessed D.

I was juggling everything: my career, my family, my responsibilities as a wife and mom, and it felt like I had it all, but internally, I was burning out. My work was demanding and stressful, and at home, I was constantly trying to be everything to everyone, especially to my two boys, one of whom has special needs. I found myself drained, emotionally and physically, and didn't know how to keep up. To cope with the overwhelming exhaustion and frustration, I began drinking more often. It became a way to numb the stress. I didn’t even recognize how deeply I was struggling until my father’s battle with dementia added even more emotional weight. That was my breaking point. I knew I had to make a change or I’d lose myself entirely. I decided to quit drinking and started working on my mental and physical health. Through hypnotherapy, mindful movement, and a diet that supported my energy levels, I began to regain control. While the burnout isn’t gone, I now have healthier coping mechanisms, and I’ve learned to balance my life in a way that honors my well-being without neglecting my family and career. Sharing my story has been a way for me to heal and let others know that it's okay to ask for help and to take time for themselves.

Beginning your drug and alcohol recovery with your partner

Brandi S.

My struggles with drugs started when I was just a teenager. Over the years, I used a variety of substances, and despite my family’s efforts to help me—sending me to treatment programs—things got worse. When I became pregnant, something shifted in me, and I found the strength to get clean. I stayed sober for 20 years while raising my three kids, but after a few deeply painful events, I spiraled into depression. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and during that time, I relapsed hard—cocaine, meth, heroin—anything I could get. What changed everything was meeting the man who would become my husband. He was also struggling with addiction, and together, we decided to fight for our recovery. We leaned on each other, showed up for one another, and started rebuilding our lives. Today, we’re both clean, happily married, and I offer support to others who are walking through similar pain and hope.

Bipolar disorder let's talk it through

Brandi S.

You are not alone, and together we can find ways to live a full and meaningful life with bipolar disorder. I understand the highs and lows, the confusion and clarity that come with this journey. I'm here to offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share your experiences, ask questions, and look into ways to manage your symptoms. We can talk about what it was like to be diagnosed, how to build a routine that supports your well-being, how important it is to take care of yourself, and how to find hope at every step of your recovery.

Navigating grief after caregiving for a parent

Francisca B.

For two years, I was my mother’s primary caregiver as she bravely battled cancer. I balanced full-time work, led a business, and tried to keep everything afloat while quietly managing appointments, medications, moments of fear, and the heartbreak of watching someone I love slowly slip away. Being her caregiver was one of the most sacred and exhausting experiences of my life. I would do it all again, but it left me forever changed. When she passed, I expected grief—but I wasn’t prepared for the layers of it. There was the deep sorrow of losing my mother, yes. But there was also the disorientation of no longer being in “go” mode. I had built my days, decisions, and identity around caring for her. And when that role suddenly ended, I felt both deep loss and overwhelming emptiness. The world expected me to return to “normal,” but nothing about me felt normal anymore. I’ve had to learn how to grieve while leading, while supporting others, and while rediscovering who I am without the title of caregiver. If you’re in that space—navigating loss, exhaustion, or the silence that follows caregiving—I want you to know you’re not alone. I’ve been there. Let’s talk about it together.

Parenting through adversity and raising neurodivergent kids

Jalissa C.

Growing up, I didn’t have it easy—my mom struggled with her mental health, and I experienced instability and even homelessness at a young age. It took years of learning how to prioritize my own well-being and leaning on therapy and the right people to find my sense of peace and strength. Now, I’m a mom to two incredible neurodivergent daughters, including one with autism. Navigating their diagnoses, advocating for them, and building a safe and supportive environment has pushed me to grow in ways I never imagined. Through caregiving, trauma, and life’s curveballs, I’ve learned how to show up—with patience, resilience, and love. I know how hard it is to feel isolated and overwhelmed. That’s why I’m here: to be a calm, supportive voice when you need someone who just gets it.

Caring for a parent or other loved one

JanMarie L.

My mother lived with me over 12 years. She was healthy when she moved in but shortly afterwards she developed Alzheimer's. I walked beside her through her journey. I had to learn how to navigate self-care and her care. It is very difficult. The bulk of managing her care (i.e. finances, doctors/health) fell to me. It was demanding with significant emotional, physical and financial investment for me and my family. While rewarding, I had to learn to ask for help and then let go. Letting go was hard to do but I had to take steps to take care of me so that I could be a loving caregiver. Mom passed in March of 2025 after a traumatic fall. I then had to deal with all of the end of life details and grieve.

Being a caregiver to a family member

Jessica B.

In 2019, my dad suffered a heart attack (needed a quintuple heart bypass surgery) and the doctors found an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. I moved back in with my parents 10 hours away for 5 months to be a caregiver. The stress of his recovery, limitations, adjusting to new life and diet, and the unknown of whether the aneurysm would rupture was overwhelming and exhausting. We lived in fear for 3 months of whether or not he would be recovered and strong enough to have the surgery to fix the aneurysm. Every day we faced the challenges of if we would get another day. The doctors informed us that if the aneurysm ruptured, he would die within minutes. I slept on the couch for 5 months watching him recover and wait. The emotions that he felt and I felt were something that cannot be explained unless you have been there. Every day was a gift and a challenge. A 5 bypass surgery is very difficult to recover from. We had to learn to slow down, be vulnerable, push ourselves, and live a whole new life. We spent everyday learning new exercises that were exhausting and sometimes arguing to just try. I wanted him to do everything to get better, but he was tired. I was tired, too. All time stopped during those days. The only thing that was real was living in that living room next to him and just praying for another day. Our only outlets were doctors visits, tests, cardio rehab. Watching my dad unable be strong and unable to take care of himself was devastating and depressing. I hurt for him. I hurt for me. Every test was stressful. Every day we waited. The whole world stopped those 5 months. But we got through it. And he made it to the surgery. He recovered and he is well. I moved back to my house. I had no idea what a caregiver went through until I became one. The challenges of taking care of someone and living with them, giving up all of yourself and not knowing if they will make it another day is stressful on everyone, but the most important thing I could do for him and me.

Compassion fatigue my empathy got evicted

Kari K.

Helping people is... holy. But holy moly, sometimes you hit the wall. I'll share how I recognized my own compassion fatigue, why burnout looks different for caregivers, and what I do now to keep my heart soft without letting it leak all over the carpet.

Setting boundaries while caring for aging parents

Korey C.

I spent five years caring for my mom, who suffered from dementia. Looking back, I realize I was probably a caregiver for her long before her diagnosis. Growing up in a co-dependent household with an alcoholic, abusive father meant that I learned early on how to put others’ needs first—even when it wasn’t healthy. After my mom was diagnosed, I stepped in to provide care, all while raising three kids and working full-time. It was a delicate balance, and it felt like I was constantly giving but never receiving in return. What I didn’t know then was how important boundaries would be in preserving my own mental and emotional health. At first, I struggled to say “no,” feeling guilty about not doing enough. But over time, I learned how to set firm yet compassionate boundaries, both with my mom and with others who needed my support. It wasn’t easy, but it allowed me to stay emotionally grounded and avoid burnout. I’ve also spent a lot of time helping friends and family navigate caregiving roles, and I’ve organized resources for others dealing with aging or ailing parents. There’s no blueprint for caregiving, but I’ve learned that it’s vital to find your own balance and remember that self-care isn’t selfish.

The loss of a sibling

Kristen C.

My sister battled opioids. Prior to this, we were very close. I offered her support and a place to live. Lies upon lies built up. I went to NA meetings with her, tried to hold her hand through it all. It did not work. She was my best friend. She had a magnetic personality and a joyful soul. This all came crashing down when she started using. She lost her life in 2020. I feel she said goodbye to me. At the time right before and during her passing I was reminiscing and looking at photos of her and I together. I have since been able to reconnect with her spiritually.

Parenting a young child with ADHD and sensory challenges

Lindsay Z.

When my son was a toddler, we started to notice he had trouble regulating his emotions and impulses compared to other kids his age. As he got older, he was diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing issues, and it completely shifted my approach to parenting. I moved from traditional expectations to learning how to truly meet him where he was emotionally. It hasn’t always been easy, especially navigating different parenting styles with my husband, but over time I found the right support systems — therapy, parent coaching, and a lot of community leaning. Some days still feel overwhelming, but I have learned patience, advocacy, and how to celebrate every small win. I know how lonely and confusing it can feel when you're trying to help your child thrive in a world not always built for them. I’d love to be a listening ear and resource for anyone else walking this road.

Navigating the challenges of caring for aging parents

Macy T.

I've always been surrounded by mental health struggles, starting with my mother’s mental illness and my father’s alcoholism. Therapy has been a part of my life since I was seven, and over the years, I've learned how to cope with the weight of these challenges. Now, as my parents age, I’m experiencing a new layer of difficulty caring for them while also trying to navigate my own life. The healthcare system doesn’t make it easy, and I often feel like there aren't enough resources for aging individuals who need complex care. I've had to become a caretaker in ways I never anticipated, juggling my job as a crisis counselor with the emotional and physical demands of caring for my parents. The loneliness can be overwhelming, especially when the system doesn’t provide enough support. But in these tough moments, I’ve found solace in therapy, friends, and the small wins that make each day bearable. I’ve also learned to approach my mental health with curiosity, knowing that healing doesn’t always happen linearly, and I hope to help others who are facing similar struggles with caregiving and family dynamics.

Parenting/caretaking through financial hardship

Monique G.

Watching single moms (including my own) navigate financial hardship while raising children was never easy, and experiencing it as a child wasn’t either. Now, as a mother myself, I’ve lived it more times than I can count. Relationship choices set me so far back that it’s taken everything just to return to “starting over.” Today, I’m rebuilding. I’m going through a divorce, raising children (some with disabilities), breathing through uncertainty, and working toward my degree. The bills still come. The anxiety didn’t disappear when the relationship ended; in some ways, it got louder. But I’m still here. Still showing up. And I know what it feels like to be unemployed, underemployed, a stay-at-home mom trying to find work and school, and carrying others through it. I've lived through crises as a child and as an adult. I can hold space for you as you walk through your.

Surviving single-parenthood

Nancy K.

When my firstborn started kindergarten, my marriage ended. Unprepared and overwhelmed by the demands of round-the-clock childcare, I felt lost. The confident person I once was seemed to vanish, replaced by someone I barely recognized in the mirror. I did my best to wear a happy face through the chaos and grief, but inside, I was spiraling. My mind was so clouded that I have no memory of signing the divorce papers, negotiating finances, or even discussing visitation. Finding my way out of that dark period was a feat of survival. I had the support of loved ones, but no one who truly understood what I was going through. I needed someone who had been there—someone battle-tested who could look me in the eye and say, “You’re doing the best you can, and yes, your family will be happy again.” That’s the kind of support I hope to offer you: a compassionate listener who understands the depth of your struggle, and a trusted guide to help you rediscover happiness in a life you never imagined.

Complicated parent-child relationships

Sandy P.

I’ve lived a full life—with all the ups, downs, sharp turns, and potholes that come with it. As a former marriage and family therapist, a caregiver for my father during his final years, and someone who has fought my own battles with addiction and recovery, I understand deeply what it feels like to be in hard places. I've lived alone for over 20 years now, still drive across the country with my pets, and stay active through volunteer work, including peer counseling at my local senior center. I know what it's like to feel the pull of addiction even after years of sobriety, to care for a parent who both needs you and resents you, and to live with the grief of fractured family relationships. If you are caring for aging parents, struggling with recovery, dealing with complicated family dynamics, or just needing someone who "gets it" to talk to, I'm here. My style is straightforward but kind—I believe facing things honestly is the first step toward healing.

Complicated parent-child relationships

Sandy P.

I’ve lived a full life—with all the ups, downs, sharp turns, and potholes that come with it. As a former marriage and family therapist, a caregiver for my father during his final years, and someone who has fought my own battles with addiction and recovery, I understand deeply what it feels like to be in hard places. I've lived alone for over 20 years now, still drive across the country with my pets, and stay active through volunteer work, including peer counseling at my local senior center. I know what it's like to feel the pull of addiction even after years of sobriety, to care for a parent who both needs you and resents you, and to live with the grief of fractured family relationships. If you are caring for aging parents, struggling with recovery, dealing with complicated family dynamics, or just needing someone who "gets it" to talk to, I'm here. My style is straightforward but kind—I believe facing things honestly is the first step toward healing.

Your caregiving challenges with your parent(s) or another adult

Sandy P.

I cared for my dad for 7 years, first in my home, then in his. Both situations posed unique challenges, uncertainty, and moments that tested our resilience. While building my psychotherapy business (you'd think that line of business would have been to my advantage, but not so!), he was dealing with the consequences of bladder cancer surgery. At my house, I had some authority; at his house, he wanted to take charge, often calling me by my mother's name. Through it all we had occasions where we heard what the other was trying to say. We even resolved a long-standing pet peeve of mine. I acted horribly at times, and he reciprocated. We each also had moments of great generosity. It brought out the best and the worst in us. My dad was conflicted about depending on me. He'd praise my dedication yet feared I might harm him with his medications. He appreciated having me as his daughter and resented my friendships outside the family. He'd team up with them to make fun of me. I had complicated feelings about having to leave my home as well as being the only child who could take on the caregiving task. So, we had moments of mutual unkindness and forgiveness. To cope he worked on many projects in his workshop, and I stayed long hours at my office. I realize now how toxic anger and resentment can be, especially if it's not totally conscious as such. But I see us as ultimately coping in our own way. And having balance in the end. If I were to do it over, I'd know that sharing our stress could have prevented unconscious reactions. Having a trusted outlet, like a Fello to confide in, would have provided perspective and tools for discussing delicate topics for each of us. Knowing someone else has had our experience would have been a huge relief. Talking about the relationship's negative aspects could have also made room for us to appreciate each other more, especially as time was running out for one of us. But we survived it all. We just kept plugging along and we were at peace in the end.

Losing a parent

Sunny H.

My dad was a wonderful father and grandfather, but not a wonderful husband. When he got sick, I struggled with helping to care for him while watching him be unkind and ungrateful to my mom. Old resentments and years of sacrifice turned my loving mom bitter and angry. They had a picture perfect 54 year marriage and these challenges were bringing out the worst in both of them. My mom was leaning on me in ways that were not necessarily healthy and told me things she'd never shared. I worked hard to treat my dad with the love he'd always shown me and set boundaries on how he could treat my mom, at least in my presence. I reminded myself how vulnerable and scared he was and his actions were his inability to manage those emotions. I let my mom say anything she needed to because she needed it to be OK to be hurt and angry. I didn't let anyone, even my dad, change how I've felt about him for all 50 years of my life. These last moments were not going to be his legacy. I really believe his illness was affecting his brain. He just wasn't the same man so holding him accountable was not necessary. I kept the peace in the family so his passing would not break the rest of us apart.